Last night we had a death in our family. A small one…and unfortunately for the dead one, there was no decent burial…just a flush down the toilet. Yes, it was one of the goldfish in our tank. One of the recent procurements of my husband. Sometime early this year, he bought 3 goldfish…the ones with a white body and orange golden head. One for each of our kids. A few months ago, one of them did something weird – swimming on its back. We did everything to save it, and when we finally moved the 3 goldfish into a much bigger tank, it went back to normal. Then my husband decided to buy MORE fish to fill up the tank. I’m just glad I’m not the one cleaning the tank.The kids were thrilled at having more fish to grace the tank. Not as if they even look at it.

Then last night, one of the new ones died. We suspect it got caught in the filter somehow – in my mind I was thinking…hmmm…maybe it was trying to escape! A’la Nemo! Anyway, the fish was taken away and as my husband was about to flush it down the toilet, my eldest girl started screaming at him telling him “Don’t do it, don’t flush it down the toilet!” But he did. And that was the end of the poor fish.Suddenly, while packing her stuff away, my daughter started crying, sobbing, uncontrollably. Why? Her exact words were, “My fish is dead, and buying a new one just isn’t the same”. Yes, her first time going through death. We had to explain that things die, people die, and it’s just part of life. She sobbed while eating, and after a bit of banter round the dinner table, she stopped.

Death is just so hard to explain at times. Do you tell them the truth about death, or do you sugar coat it? I for one have always believed in telling it like it is. But, just so she can stop crying, I had to embellish, I had to tell her that the fish is lucky now and can be with its family. It is now in “fish heaven”. With its family. And yes, the other fish in the tank are just strangers, so it is lovely to finally be with family in “fish heaven”. It worked. Bullsh**ing does work and it keeps the peace. Have you ever had to explain anything “difficult” to your child? How did you handle it? Did you tell the straight on truth or did you embellish it a little? Share your stories with us.