I’ve often had “problems” with my eldest daughter and her choice of friends. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that she chooses the “wrong” or “right” type of kids to hang around or play with. More like the age group she chooses to fraternise with. She’s 8, and in Grade 3. She’s what we would call a “young” 8 year old – a January child. She often plays with kids who are younger than she is,and there could be a multitude of reasons as to why this was so. From the fact that she’s the eldest and has a younger sister 20 months her junior, and therefore feels more comfortable playing with kids in that age group. To the obvious fact that she is a rather immature child – for her age anyway. Whenever I compare her to her younger sister, you would agree that her sister is way more mature than she was at her age. The way she views the world, the type of games she plays, and the fact that she can be totally oblivious of her surroundings and other people’s feelings. But, to me, that is her personality.

I guess my worry stemmed from the fact that her school is of a composite class. Last year, she was in Grade 1/2 meaning, a class comprising of Grade 1s and 2s. Her friends then, consisted of – Grade 1s even though she was a Grade 2 student. It didn’t bother me, as they were closer to her age then those in her grade to begin with. Then, this year, in Grade 3, she started playing with her younger sister’s friends – the Grade 1 students. Why did this worry me? I guess it’s more the worry of what would happen should she go to high school and her sister, who would only be in Grade 5 then would not be there to be her crutch. Yes, it’s YEARS away, but I couldn’t help but worry – it’s what I do – I worry! So, we did approach her teacher and told her the issue we were facing. We would love for her to socialise more with kids in her grade. The teacher was FANTASTIC. She didn’t force my daughter, and in fact made notes on how she socialises and why.

Now, it’s the middle of second term and my daughter is doing great. She mixes with kids in her grade and the younger ones too! She told me once, she played with kids in her grade and the games they played, for instance pretending to be something or someone. And, that she didn’t use her “kiddy” voice when she pretended to be a younger child. Upon hearing that, part of me wanted to tell her “You need to play by their rules if you want them to accept you”, but part of me wanted to say “They should accept you the way you are”. So what did I do? I just said, “Well, as long as you’re happy playing with them, that’s fine”. It’s hard enough being an adult and wanting to be accepted into a group, let alone being a child! I thought, as long as she’s happy and that she doesn’t feel pressured into doing what she’s uncomfortable with, that’s all that matters. The time will come when she will face other obstacles as she’s growing up, and I can’t always solve her problems, but I do hope she knows that she can come to me, if she does feel she needs some help in the future.