Are there really any differences between the games, toys, activities for girls or boys? Is one toy targetted more at girls than boys, or do you feel they shouldn’t be gender specific? Why do I bring this issue up? Well, a few reasons really.
First being, the issue my 4 year old son had with riding his sister’s hand-me down bike. Not because it’s a hand-me down, more because he thinks it’s a “girl” bike. Why? It’s white with bright pink on the body of the bike. He’s fine with riding it in our backyard, but has HUGE issues with riding it to and from his sisters’ school. I asked him why, especially since it’s a good ride-able bike, unlike his black and red “boy” bike, whose chain keeps on coming off while you ride it. His reasons were that he didn’t want his peers (his sister’s friends’ siblings who were the same age as he is) to make fun of him. My reaction to that was to tell him this, “It doesn’t matter what you wear, or ride or play with, it makes you more of a man to ride a PINK bike, if you’re comfortable with yourself”. Ok, right…as if that would register in his 4 year old head. So instead I told him that his friends would not make fun of him for riding the pink bike, friends don’t do that. Plus, it’s either walking there or riding his sister’s old bike – his choice! He chose the bike. And luckily his friends were not there to witness it either. I don’t know what their reaction would have been, honestly, and deep down inside I really did not want him to go through the “ewww…you’re riding a girl bike” teasing either. But then both him and I should not be made to fear the “masses” should we?
Seriously, this is 2010, where people and parents are more liberal and open minded. Where parents are trying to be less gender specific in the types of activities, toys and games they give their children- or are they?
I had another incident when I first started Just Us Kids Online. A complaint more like it. Not about my level of service (phew) but the products I stock. The person emailed me saying that like most other stores out there, my store did not stock enough toys and games for boys and that we were being unfair and biased, as boys needs are often neglected. I was, appreciative yet stunned at the remark made. I went through my store to see if there was a balance of boys and girls products. I knew I had tried my best to source non gender specific products as I have children of both genders so, would often look at products that would suit both. Then I thought to myself, could it be due to the public perception of what a boy or a girl should or could be playing with, that shapes our own perception?
Why do we care so much what others would think if we dress our kids a certain way or let them play with which ever toys or ride what ever bikes? The thing is – we shouldn’t. My middle child, who is a girl LOVES playing with her younger brother’s toys. She thinks it’s cool. Not as if his toys should only be for boys. Toys like trains and cars. And my son, yes, he plays dress ups with his sisters and other fairy make believe games they come up with. They are all at an age where curiosity and discovery is at the forefront of their development. So, as a parent, my role is to encourage them to explore, accept and realise, that we shouldn’t discriminate something because society says so.
Do you think you stereotype your kids? What do you think of people who place emphasis on gender stereotyping on their kids?
A great post! Personally, I think of it as a vicious cycle. Take the bike scenario, just as an example… Whilst I would not have any objection to my son riding a pink bike and I would never want to stereotype him, I also, like you, would hate for him to be picked on by his peers because of it. School yards can be tough enough worlds as it is, without adding pink bikes to the mix
And so, only for that reason, I’d prefer not to send him to school on it, especially if he didn’t want to… and I know that this would effectively mean, that in my efforts to protect him, I would be reinforcing that stereotype (I know – a hypocrite!) that I personally don’t agree with… and so goes the vicious cycle.
I totally agree with you Emma. And what makes it worse is when his sisters reinforce the fact that “PINK IS FOR GIRLS”. Now he has a scooter, which he loves…and it’s silver (yes, can’t help but stereotype) and we bought him a second hand bike (a boy one), which he can’t ride yet as it’s a tad too big – so that’s for next year. And so the cycle goes on!